Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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