wakey wakey hands off snakey
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have fence marks all over my body
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