He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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