i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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