Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
