Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
