How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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