I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize