Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
