i may or may not be watching the land before time
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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