I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
