Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
that's an acceptable place to lick
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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