There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
