I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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