I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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