I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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