Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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