Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
