Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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