Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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