the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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