Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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