i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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