We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
