Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
