mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
time to smoke my breakfast
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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