your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize