We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
