Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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