So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
