he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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