Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
