I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
