there was a trapeze. enough said
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I just had sex on a roof
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
