I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
