Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
