Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
