You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I am available for nakedness
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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