I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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