Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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