So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
