You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
