"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
