WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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