And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
