Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
