he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
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