there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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