Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
