U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
