I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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