so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He shit in the fireplace
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
