Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
