Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
