I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
