okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I enjoy the company of your penis
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
