My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
