Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
