your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
